In continuation of the can of worms I opened yesterday, I would like to proceed just a little more. If you did not read my post yesterday, this may or may not make sense although I think in all of us have, somewhere, in the back of our closet, is a can of worms we prefer to keep tightly closed.
Lets backup just a bit to make a statement that sometimes the cans of worms we grew up with in our families may or may not influence the cans of worms that get created when the next generation of family is created. Sometime cans of worms just get created.
OK, enough about worms. The whole purpose of this is driven from a statement made to me that I should really get some help opening all the doors of my past so that I can process them correctly. I looked at speaker, who does not have the same belief system as I do and calmly said -“If God wanted me to remember that pain, he would bring it to the front”. The brain is an incredible piece of work that we have only scratched the surface of in trying to understand how it works. It has the uncanny ability to block out the painful or scary parts of our past which is a protective mechanism to make us forget those memories that would forever break our heart every time we think about them. For example – a woman giving birth. Why would women go through that pain if they remembered what it was like. I did it three time so there is evidently some truth in that thought. So why would you want to open those doors of pain. Only then to have to go to therapy, spend money you don’t want to spend, learning coping mechanisms to deal with the pain and disillusions that previously your brain in its own protective mode had already done for you. It makes no sense to me.
Now, I will say that deep down, this “damage” created from these memories may have influenced some of the decisions made later in life and those I think you need to get help from because those you can remember and analyze the why of and learn from. Like for instance marrying the same man twice expecting a different result the second time. Some of us a slower learners than the others…or just hopeless believers in what could be.
This morning before heading to Bible study, I read Laurie ‘s post on her healing process for running. She made some very profound statements about life as it is ever changing around us and that we need to do mental inventory to make sure our wants, needs and emotions are being met so that we can then assess what needs to be done to make our run with life smoother. I suggest you head over there as it was a very good read.
In Bible study this morning the question was asked as where is your focus and does it need reevaluating. Are we so lost in what has happened to us that we quit? Are so so angered about what happened that we have become bitter?
When I analyze my past, there are a lot of missing childhood memories but there are some good memories as well. In my married life, there were a lot of rough seas but some beautiful calm waters as well. I don’t think you can go through this life with everything calm and beautiful. Its the rough seas that shape us into the beautiful people we can be if we allow ourselves to be draped in the silver lining that gets produced from trials.
It is my firm belief that God provides that lining and if we are willing, he will show us how to use it to bless others. We have got to be willing to let God walk besides us (periodically carry us) to withstand the trials of this life. I remember standing at the back of my son’s dorm and looking up at the window he broke out during a nightmare, seeing all the glass that was scattered on the ground, and I remember crying as I stared up at that window, 3 floors up, how very gracious my God was as that my son had no broken bones, only cuts from the glass as he dove out the window. God will carry you and he angels will catch you. I stake my and my children life on it, literally.
One day I will write a post on how I believe angels are working overtime for me and my children as we go through this process of learning that we call life.
And as I remind myself and others who read my scribbles, always be kind. Your kindness may not change the world but it may change the world of that one ‘being’.
Have a great week.
4 thoughts on “Is it Important to Analyze Your Past? #2”
I always remember that about mom’s giving birth – the moment we see that beautiful gift of a precious human being we forget every pain felt while making sure it arrived here for us to treasure and love (aka, delivering it!).
Thank you for the very kind comments, Anita. I agree with you – we forget times of pain for a reason. If we didn’t, every child would be an only child (and no one would run more than one marathon).
God does not promise our lives to be free of pain and turmoil. He DOES promise to be there with us as any loving Father would be.
Anita, what a meaty post. There does seem to be a balance of digging up the hurts of the past and letting God bring to the surface the things He knows He needs to work on in our hearts at that time. Though I did not grow up in an abusive home, I dealt with a lot of bullying as a young girl. This informed my understanding of myself and relationships with peers for many years. It’s only been in the past few years that I am finding the deeper healing God knew I needed. Although, He began revealing the deep wound many years ago. Sometimes He heals in stages…
I so appreciated your words today!
PS—Some day I would love to hear th story about the dog in your picture! 🙂