Woman – Hazardous Material

Good New Years Eve friends. Hope you are safe and warm. In cleaning out my spare room to turn it into an office/writing room, I ran across some old books and papers I have not seen in a very long time. I wanted to share one that I found that, as a woman myself, made me chuckle and hope it brings you a smile for then end of this… “interesting” … year. I do not know where it came from but it was tucked in the quality control papers from my management position down in Alabama and fit the types of papers we dealt with assuring safety and quality within the automotive industry. It is titled “!!Hazardous Materials Data Sheet!!” Enjoy the chuckle with me.

Element : Woman

Discoverer: Adam

Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg

Physical Properties:

1. Body surface normally covered with film of powder and paint.
2. Boils at absolutely nothing – freezes for no apparent reason.
3. Found in various grades ranging from virgin martial to common ore.

Chemical Properties:

1. Reacts well to gold, platinum and precious stones.
2. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.
3. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Use:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can greatly aid relaxation.
3. Can be a very effective cleaning agent.

Hazards:

1. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
2. Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never know of other possessions or make sys contact.

In reality, all women must understand their great value to all of mankind. While we can be possessive creatures, when it get down to brass tacks, we really want the best for everybody. So women – stay pure and beautiful as God made you and remember beauty is not always on the outside. Inner beauty always carries more power, courage and resolve…regardless of gender.

Have a very good new year and remember always to be kind.